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Life

Life-learned lessons, relationships, marriage, faith, lifestyle, and everything else in between.

Filtering by Tag: womanhood

Time to Start Unpacking.

Debora Manusama-Sinaga

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Today is the International Women's Day, and according to wikipedia, it is the day where women are celebrated for their social, political, and economic achievements. But I personally believe that women are to be celebrated, loved, and respected regardless of their socio-economic status.     So I wanna take this time to honor you ladies, no matter who you are, what you do for living, and what you look like - you are amazing, beautiful, and loved :)

Speaking of honoring women, I am so grateful for the opportunity to get to know some of the most inspiring and strongest women I've ever known at the monthly gathering called OpenSeat

unfiltered-2 This month, the decor theme was Rustic (hence the burlap table runner!), the meal theme was Brunch (I made the virgin mimosas and it was pretty awesome!!), and...

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the overall theme was "Unfiltered". I came up with that word for the theme because I've noticed how we as a society have been 'depending' on photo filters to make our lives look better online. But at this month's OpenSeat, the founder Queen aimed for us ladies to hear a real, unfiltered story from our fellow woman, and learn from her. And last Saturday, it happened to be the beautiful Ashley Nesbitt

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Her story was so powerful and inspiring, it left me pondering upon this one quote that she said :

Throughout my childhood until adulthood, I've had a lot of new beginnings. But I realized one day, that I had not taken the time to upack the things I'd been carrying with me.

She wasn't just talking about the suitcases and physical things that she had carried, but distorted perspectives, unresolved issues, fear, and disappointments that we humans often carry through life. 

Some women still make their current spouse/partner pay for their past lovers' mistakes, because they still carry that trauma and distrust. Some still carry their fear to try pursuing their dreams because of their past failures. Or...in my case, I was still carrying my past mistakes, those labels people put on me in the past into my marriage! 

   And you know what, you might have physically moved on  (hey, I've migrated to another country!), but until youresolve your  ast issues, you will always find yourself battling with them, over and over and over again. Some even until they are on their deathbed! 

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Now we don't want that do we? Especially with our families and our future at stake, we cannot afford to 'crowd' our lives with our baggages and destroy our relationships. It's time to start unpacking, ladies. I said 'start' because I believe it's a journey, and not an overnight thing. 

We're in this together. 

 

*suitcase image cred 

Why True Self-Love Is Not Arrogance 

Debora Manusama-Sinaga

With the growing selfie culture, you would think that we, as a society, have got the issue of self image all figured out, right?  Everybody looks like they love themselves, that's why they take photos of themselves all the time. Some take and post photos of their body parts that you normally wouldn't share to public. 

But is that true self-love? 

  Some people think self-love is arrogance, so they go into the other extreme, by not wanting to own or be openly proud about their good qualities.

But I really think there should be a balance here. 

I remember a quote by a former Harlem gangster, Frank Lucas, who although might not seem like a typical person you would want to get self-image-quotes from, said this brilliant piece of wisdom :

The loudest person in the room is the weakest person in the room.

I think healthy and true self-love is not shy, but it's not loud either. It's not proud, because pride usually looks down on others. That's why we often end up feeling so drained and anxious after spending too much time on social media, looking at other people's "broadcasted blessings" without realizing that they have struggles too. Then we end up spending money we don't have to buy things we don't need to impress people who don't even care about us. Some people go in debt for it! 

 

Arrogance makes you think highly about yourself, often to compensate and cover up your insecurities. Whereas self-love radiates compassion and love to others, so strongly that people around you would be lifted up by that love, not intimidated and jealous.   So starting today, let's ask ourselves: Am I truly loving myself today? Have I forgiven myself  of the things I have done in the past?

As Abi Stumvoll puts it last night at Beloved Conference I attended :

Stop criticizing your God-given temple (your body). Repent to every body parts that you've spoken death to. Because when you speak life to yourself, you will bloom into it.