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Accepting Resolution Fails

Life

Life-learned lessons, relationships, marriage, faith, lifestyle, and everything else in between.

Accepting Resolution Fails

Debora Manusama-Sinaga

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As the new year approaches, I've been thinking a lot about the year 2014 and how I've lived through it. Have I done enough? Did I achieve what I wanted to achieve? I was looking through my phone when I found this list.

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I believe I wrote this during our new-year's-eve-stay at a boutique hotel in Jakarta, Indonesia last year. I was praying hard for us to finally move to Dallas in 2014 and I was determined to live healthier (physically, mentally, and spiritually). Furthermore, I wanted to have influence. Notice the 4th point right there? I wanted to have more follower and more influence and I want to make money through this blog.

Well, have I? Yeah, a little bit. But not as much as I expected to. Am I disappointed at myself? I was.

The truth is, I had this crazy long conversation with Mr. Man on Thanksgiving regarding my view on social media and blogging and why I'm pursuing this and all that. He was okay with it all as long as I keep J at the top of my priority list. However he did remind me to not want the 'wrong' things. The superficial things.

And by the looks of things, I can't say that I haven't been wanting those things. Cause I did. In fact I still do at times. I mean, I'm a human.

But then I realize that the one who's getting influenced by me the most is J. He is my main 'follower'. Who's actually affected by everything I do. Why can't I just focus more on him, and not the things that I dream of? They will come true eventually right?

Hmm...so yeah, I have been focusing more on J now. Taking it slow when it comes to blogging and actually, I have learned to not care that about the statistics, the follower count, and the view count. My target was to hit 100k views by this month. But I only hit around 95k.

Well, the little voice once again reminded me that I need to do this not for anything else but for the sake of inspiring others. And to let my creativity and thoughts out. Not just any thoughts but the ones that really matter. Same goes with the photos I post and the words I tweet.

And you know what, I feel free. For the first time in months.

I no longer feel the need to match up the other super-mom-bloggers out there and their statistics. I am actually focusing on more interesting things like my kiddo and husb, my new friends here in Dallas, calligraphy, and ehm...photography!

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Yes, I took these myself last week. Pretty nice, huh? hehe...

Anyways about point number 5? I wrote there that I wanted J to be able to say thanks and please by this time of the year. As it turns out, he still can't say any 'real' word. It's okay, I have high hopes but realistic expectation now. I do not beat myself up for it cause I know that my baby is getting there soon.

To sum this all up, I hope this post reminds you to take it easy, manage your expectation, and to not focus on the things you didn't get to do or achieve this past year. Think of the good ones and be grateful for them. So we can close this chapter with a smile on our faces, and open a new one in peace.

Happy New Year!